Helping children understand the true meaning of Christmas

This year, for the first time, my children, aged 3 and 4, are truly excited for Christmas. They can now pronounce “Christmas” (last year, they called it “mish-mish”) and have a real understanding of the holiday stories and what’s going on—they’re super excited!

For me, it’s also the first year I’ve reflected deeply on the true meaning of this holiday and how I want to help my children and the children in my sessions learn about Christmas. Starting Tiny Travels three years ago has opened my mind and heart in ways I never imagined. Through this journey, I’ve learned so much about different cultural traditions.

There are traditions I’ve learned about that I’ve come to deeply admire, often thinking, this is what’s missing in so many white British homes today. For example, earlier this year, I partnered with Mamma Filz to create a Ramadan resource. I was deeply inspired by the ethos of Ramadan—its focus on community, care, and generosity. It made me reflect on how these values are often lacking in many white British homes, including my own. As I considered the meanings and values behind different cultural traditions, I couldn’t help but notice how holidays like Christmas seem to be dominated by consumerism, losing their deeper significance.

This year, inspired by what I learned during Ramadan about the focus on the values, I’m reconnecting with the true meaning of Christmas as a time for giving, love, and compassion. I’m also exploring the significance of Jesus’ birth and reflecting on the winter solstice’s roots, which honour the earth’s seasons, cycles, and impermanence.

I’m reminded by climate activist Mikaela Loach, a practising Christian, that Jesus was a radical. Born in a shelter as a child refugee, he used his voice to speak out against Roman colonial rule, occupation, and oppression. Jesus advocated for love and compassion for all, spending his life with those on the margins of society, challenging the status quo, and showing deep care for the most vulnerable. Ultimately, he was killed by state-sanctioned violence for his radical teachings of love, which challenged authority and posed a political threat. Many Christians today would likely reject everything Jesus stood for.

Although I grew up in a practising Christian household, with my grandmother being a devoted Seventh Day Adventist, I haven’t been to church in years or had much to do with Christianity. In fact, the more I’ve learned about colonisation, the Christian Doctrine of Discovery, and the horrors and genocides committed in the name of Christianity, the more I’ve distanced myself from it.

Learning about the crimes against humanity of slavery, the genocide of Indigenous peoples, and the rampant emotional, sexual, and physical abuse in British-run Christian residential schools around the world has been deeply horrifying, particularly in the way God was used to justify these atrocities. The disturbing origins of the song Amazing Grace, violent missionaries, the abuse by the royal family & Church, the cover-ups of paedophiles, the patriarchal manipulation of Christianity, and the killings of countless women in its name—when Europeans invaded the world, they also brought witch hunts and gender-based violence that disrupted many African and Indigenous matriarchal societies, all in the name of the Christian God. These are just some of the things I’ve come to learn more about, and they have contributed to my distance from Christianity.

One particularly powerful moment was watching an interview with poet Benjamin Zephaniah, where he recalls how his Jamaican mother was told by white teachers at Christian schools in Jamaica that African people were enslaved because of the sins of Ham—that they deserved it and brought slavery upon themselves. This was the narrative pushed by white British people to justify the enslavement of Africans, claiming that it was God’s will. These truths have left me questioning the harmful legacy tied to the Christian faith in many parts of the world. Much more harm has been done in the name of Christianity than any other religion.

Then there’s the way schools teach Christianity—often through a lens of moral superiority over every other religion. There is also the imagery of bloody depictions of Christ murdered on a cross, plastered on the walls of school assembly halls, yet children are considered too innocent to learn about other important issues. The sexualisation of language around the Virgin Mary is another example, while children are deemed too young to learn about identities like gay and lesbian. The constant double standards are ever-present and frustrating. These contradictions highlight the inconsistencies in how certain ideas and narratives are presented to children, while others are hidden or downplayed.

Needless to say, the more I’ve learned about British history, global systems of power, control, and coercion, and how Christianity was used to justify genocides, brutality, enslavement, rapes, murder, and much more, I’ve distanced myself from the Christian aspect of these holidays, while still celebrating Christmas and Easter. However, what we’ve actually just gravitated towards is the hijacking of Christianity by capitalism—the commercialisation of Christmas with Santa and gifts, the behaviour-based present reward system of being “naughty or nice,” and the relentless drive to consume, consume, and consume.

So, what is Christmas before the hijacking of white supremacy agendas with depictions of a white Jesus, and before the rise of capitalism with Santa and over-consumption, which is literally killing people every day in the Global South? This is what we are returning to in our house—learning that Christmas is a celebration of Jesus’s birth and the love for everyone he advocated for.

After recently reading bell hooks’ All About Love and learning about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s idea of a Beloved Community, I’ve been inspired by activists like Alice Walker and John Lewis. They spoke about love not as an airy, fairy concept, but as a fierce, driving force for change. The kind of love that has the power to transform society, and it’s this love we are embracing this Christmas.

Many of these activists, like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., drew inspiration from Jesus’ teachings in the Bible, particularly his message about loving your enemies. This is the path I’m on—recognising the flaws in people who are deeply racist, sexist, homophobic, or entrenched in harmful systems, and seeing them as symptoms of larger systems at play rather than hating or blaming individuals. Jesus advocated for unity, compassion, and hope in the face of despair, teaching us to respond to hatred with love.

As Fred Hampton said, “We’re going to fight racism not with racism, but we’re going to fight with solidarity.” Hampton, an American civil rights leader and member of the Black Panther Party, was mentored by a local Black Catholic priest, George Clements, who gave refuge to Black Panther members in his church to escape police persecution. Hampton’s powerful message of unity across racial lines—uniting white, Black, and Latine workers—was so impactful that the FBI and Chicago police had him killed at the young age of 21. In his speeches, he consistently advocated for the values of unity, compassion, and love.

Christmas is about honouring the birth of Jesus, and love, unity and compassion were central to his teachings. Many activists speak of divine love—a love that is unconditional, self-giving, and universal, seeking the well-being of all people, regardless of who they are. It’s the transformative love a parent feels when they become a parent, a love so powerful that it changes them forever. This journey has brought me to where I am now—having my own children, experiencing that love, and wanting all children, wherever they are, to be safe and well. It’s the kind of love that fuels the fight for justice, not through hatred, but through a deep love for humanity. This is the love that Jesus spoke about.

Most Christians today, particularly in the United States where I was born, do not practice what they preach. Instead, many follow a colonised, patriarchal, white-supremacist version of Christianity that was exported around the world during European colonialism. Jesus was a dark-skinned child refugee who embodied values of love, equality, and justice. Millions of modern-day Christians would likely have hated Jesus if he were alive today.

So this Christmas, I am returning to the basics of love, kindness, and giving back. I am talking to my children about these values and discussing what we can give away to children who don’t have as much, due to systemic inequality. It’s important for me to name inequality because it’s not simply a matter of one person working harder than another. My children have been choosing what they want to donate to charity, reflecting on these important issues so they feel empowered and involved in the new Christmas traditions we are building as a family.

We are also learning about the pre-Christian origins of the winter festivals that led to Christmas, discussing the changing seasons, the renewal of the new year, and how people throughout time and across cultures have celebrated nature and Mother Earth. It’s a time to be in gratitude, give thanks to the seasons and to honour this period of rest before the new life of spring. Like most white British families, over time we have become disconnected from the land, nature, and the practices of our ancestors that once rooted us to the earth. So, alongside our learning about the meaning of Christmas and the values of love, we are also exploring the nature-based origins of winter festivals, understanding how interconnected we all are, and expressing gratitude for the earth and all it provides.

In rediscovering the true meaning of Christmas, we are embracing love, kindness, giving, and a deeper connection to the earth. Through reflecting on Jesus’s teachings of compassion, justice, and unity, and acknowledging the systemic inequalities that affect so many, we are learning to give back in meaningful ways. By exploring the nature-based origins of winter festivals and teaching our children about the interconnectedness of all life, we are creating new traditions rooted in gratitude, respect, and empathy. This Christmas, we are not only celebrating a season of love and kindness, but also honouring the wisdom of the past and the potential for positive change in the future.

For inspiration on gifts that are rooted in love and justice, I would like to highlight this wonderful organisation Handmade in Palestine